Wednesday, July 03, 2013

So, the Lazy C does an obit for the CRC Scam: I improve on it.


Posted on July 3, 2013Eric Florip 
You’ve probably heard by now that the Columbia River Crossing is dead
Writing the story Saturday night, after the Washington and Oregon governors pulled the plug on the $3.4 billion megaproject, felt a bit like writing an obituary. 
That got us wondering: What would an actual obituary for the CRC look like? The Columbian usually charges for those. Oddly, no one has offered to buy an obit for the CRC. 
Consider this one on us.
The Columbia River Crossing passed away on Saturday, June 29, 2013, crushed by  enemies representing the people of Clark County in Olympia. The CRC, as it became known, was born in 2005 to parents Wash and Oh Dot. 
In honor of the CRC’s passing, the governors of both states have ordered that all flags be flown no higher than 116 feet.  The cause of death was identified as lies, arrogance, exaggeration, ignorance and stupidity on the part of the Scammers. 
The CRC spent the early part of its life searching for an identity. It dreamed of grand bridge designs and high-capacity transit, its youthful exuberance projecting unknown potential.  As the Oregon State Supreme Court determined, the entire project was a sham light rail extortion scheme in search of a palatable identity.  Luckily for the 440,000 people of this county, the only identity this rip off found was "theft."
In 2008, light rail wedded the CRC in an arranged marriage to try and cover the underhanded lie of the reason for the project.. The two remained committed to each other until the end, when the truth came out in the OSC decision that brought the true history to light.  Added to the other facts that were uncovered by several who investigated the scam, it was clear to anyone paying attention that this scam was never taking their planned honeymoon to Clark College.

The CRC’s parents watched proudly as it achieved other frauds and false reasons for existence through its life: a draft environmental impact statement in 2008 that was a total joke, a final environmental impact statement that was pure fiction and a completely bogus Record of Decision in 2011, and a kiss of death due to inclusion in the White House’s “We Can’t Wait” initiative in 2012.  There were several fatal wounds suffered, not the least of which is the waste of $170 million do stupidly design a bridge far too low; a requirement to enable the hated loot rail to infect Clark County via Vancouver.
The CRC’s parents watched proudly as it achieved other frauds and false reasons for existence through its life: a draft environmental impact statement in 2008 that was a total joke, a final environmental impact statement that was pure fiction and a completely bogus Record of Decision in 2011, and a kiss of death due to inclusion in the White House’s “We Can’t Wait” initiative in 2012.   
There were several fatal wounds suffered, not the least of which is the waste of $170 million do stupidly design a bridge far too low; a requirement to enable the hated loot rail to infect Clark County via Vancouver.
With the development of the Majority Coalition Caucus and the opposition of the only 4 listening senators from Clark COunty, the CRC's demise was a foregone conclusion to anyone practicing reality.  CRC Scammers, however, were typically clueless and arrogant, refusing to acknowledge their baby was dead and  that it needed to be thrown out with their bilge wate.
The CRC fell gravely ill in 2013 from these and other multiple afflictions that the CRC Scammers and this newspaper ciouldn't lie their way out of.  It was placed on life support near the end of Washington’s legislative session. Ultimately, the governors of Washington and Oregon decided to end its suffering.
The CRC is survived by its grandfather, the Interstate 5 Bridge; its Uncle Glenn, the Interstate 205 Bridge; and its stepfather MAX in Portland.
Funeral arrangements are pending the outcome of the criminal investigations and indictments forthcoming though services will be held in both Vancouver and Portland. MAX was not invited to the Vancouver service.
In lieu of flowers, mourners are asked to buy a Good To Go! tolling pass and dream about what could have been.

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