Attention columnsts! Here are REAL candidate's marching orders

The Column John Laird SHOULD have written.

Next month, Clark County voters will be inundated with messages from the Columbian in support of their leftist, CRC/light rail/toll fetish scamming typically democrat candidates, featuring fringe-left whack jobs John Laird and Loy Brancaccio.  It's not too soon for voters to ignore those two and their self-serving, frequently delusional agenda of a newspaper.

But what about the candidates? Are they fully prepared to ignore those morons, or did the dog eat their homework? Here's a handy, dandy primer for candidates, incumbents as well as newcomers:

• When a columnist rants: don't be a pest, ignore him.  First of all, if one of these clowns COULD make it in politics, they would.  Look up "Michael Heywood" for an example.  Second, the time to point out that a three-strike and you're out rule is not after someone's name is on the ballot... or, like Laird, when your remark is aimed at the many candidates he opposes (Haugen, Petersen, Campbell, et al.)

• Ignore the Democratian.  That's right; do not go to their editorial boards.  If you don't slavishly support their fringe-left agenda and you are anything to the right of Mao in a competitive race, you will not be endorsed.  Do not go there and hand them the hammer they'll inevitably use as they engage in their multiple-standard, situational endorsement scam.

•  Ignore columnists: They're old, tired, worn-out hacks who would sell their own children to get their agenda through, all the while hiding behind the non-existent shield of "opinion" vs "news" that keeps them from being held accountable for their words.  "Fair" does not exist in their lexicon, and "will of the voters" is a catch phrase they talk about, but ignore whenever it suits them.

• Understand that partisan politics, which neither Laird nor Brancaccio have ever participated in, does not run like some ethereal, leftist, pie-in-the-sky academic exercise. No amount of turning a blind eye to political reality has ever helped any candidate do anything. Take a look at Barack Obama, who this paper's columnists have NEVER questioned or attacked.

• Sign pledges:  A pledge is like a promise.  Most people don't understand you, and have very little to measure your veracity.  Pledges are like the bedrock of your campaign and your actions in governance.  Those who refuse to sign pledges have the freedom to act with a Leavitt-like campaign of lies and deceit, and remember: those anti-pledge morons like Laird are primarily pissed off because they oppose the pledges in question.  You'd think that Laird would understand that hypocrisy isn't a good look... but considering who Laird works for...

• Continue the exquisite art of saying "no."  "Yes" has bankrupted the country and buried us in debt for uncounted generations, all the while doing absolutely nothing to "improve the lives of our constituents."  Clowns like Laird have no problem with using our money to spend us into bankruptcy... much like, come to think of it, the Columbian managed to spend itself.  For someone who helped spend a company into bankruptcy to provide advice on how to run ANYTHING is, well, stupid.  In this day and age, government has it's place, and most of us understand that "improving constituents lives" typically means developing a regulatory and tax climate where our constituents can get a job and then keep some of their money... since all quality of life in real terms begins with the ability to support yourself and your family.

• Sarcasm seldom works in reporting: And it definitely doesn't work in "opinion" columns for newspapers. Part of this situation is to understand that scum sucking columnists like Laird can dish it out, but they can't take it. Those who can, do. Those who can't, bully.

• Be aware of the middle, but don't live there: Laird and Brancaccio have no more idea of the "middle" than they do "fairness." Their idea of "middle" is the same as most people's idea of "fringe leftist."

• Ignore the race card. Demanding and working to implement our immigration laws is not racist. Our laws are color-blind and apply equally to everyone... unless, of course, you're a minority illegal alien. Then, in Laird's world, they're not supposed to apply at all. Most people, for example, understand that opposition to that blithering idiot in the White House has nothing to do with his skin color, for example, but that because he's in over his head while he's burying US. For a hypocrite to exclaim "not everyone is exactly like you" based on his columns? When is HE going to "deal with it?"

• If your spouse can help you and wants to, put them IN to politics. Where, for example, is Laird's cheap shot at Obama for running the Food-Gestapo, Klingon Princess out there?

 • Live by your party platform: I get that Laird wants every Republican to be Marc Boldt, who has long since stopped acting or thinking like a Republican, even abandoning his Republican seatmate. Ignoring those who have fought, financed, walked and worked to get you elected is likely to make them jettison you. If you don't want to be a Republican like Boldt does not want to be a Republican, then don't say you're a Republican.

• Always listen to your constituents: but just remember, those with an agenda are counting on your stupidity and those on the fringe left aren't always the smartest. Democracy is a concept that allows for stupidity: just look at the fact that Obama is president. Think for yourself and represent the majority.

• Ignoring a "consensus" of speakers at any particular public hearing as the supposed voice of the people is about as foolish as interpreting a "consensus" of letters to the editor on any particular day as the supposed voice of the readers. When you have a controversial issue of major import, don't be afraid to PUT IT TO A VOTE OF THE PEOPLE. Don't listen to slimeballs who talk about a "lack of leadership" because you believe the people should be heard.

• Disregard singular requests that ignore the will of the people: when the downtown mafia or the despicable excuse of a newspaper demands that you waste billions on a worthless black hole of our money on a project that will enrich a few at the life-long expense of the many, remember: your job is to serve ALL of the people; not just those with a huge wallet and the media behind them.

These are simple, much more realistic and mainstream views then the idiocy Laird spewed this AM.

It's just a damned shame he steadfastly refuses to acknowledge it.