More unabashed stupidity from OUR government: Cash for clunkers.

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There are fools, damned fools... and our government.

As a general rule, government rarely SOLVES any problem. (Can you name one.... ONE problem government has solved? I can't.) What they do is reduce the noise on the problems we face to a bearable level. It is, in fact, the implementation of the "squeaky wheel" rule.

Government typically wants the unwashed masses (That's US, by the way.) to THINK government's doing something. That's why we cost ourselves tens of billions of wasted dollars by making all of the airport security workers federal employees, for example. It was a show, designed primarily to make us believe that our government, post 9/11, was actually DOING something.

In that regard... they were not. In the aftermath, it's easy to forget that none of the 9/11 hijackers violated the security laws then in effect. Federalizing airport security BEFORE 9/11 would have made absolutely NO difference in the 9/11 outcome... unless the rules had been changed as well.

It's important to remember that as we consider the latest plan to "save us" by removing older, more polluting, gas-guzzler type vehicles from the road.

Now, I haven't seen the final version of this nonsense, and many of the rules in question would blind an accountant in their complexity, purely an accidental outcome to be sure. So, I'll let Greg Gutfeld explain it to you in his own, inimitable, way:

Making Sense of 'Cash for Clunkers'

Monday, June 22, 2009
By Greg Gutfeld

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Last week I was reading up on the "Cash for Clunkers" program which the Senate just approved, hoping to talk about it here. I gave up, however, because it didn't make any sense.

Then it dawned on me: It didn't have to! It's a government program. As long as it's paved with good intentions, it doesn't matter if the road goes nowhere.

Here's the deal: To get gas guzzlers off the roads, the government is offering vouchers worth up to $4,500 for your old car, to be used on a new car.

How does it work? (Breathe deeply.) You can trade in a car getting 18 miles per gallon for a car getting 22 mpg and get $3,500. But you'd get $4,500 if the new car is 10 mpg higher.

Now, if you own an old SUV, you could get $3,500 if your new wheels offer two more gallons per mile. If it's five more miles, then you get an extra grand.

You follow? Good, then find a gun and shoot me in the face.

Now, here's the fun part: None of this makes any sense if your old car is worth more than a voucher. Meaning this only works for crap worth under 3,500 bucks. And if that's the case, then the government pays and loses money on every junk heap.

Lastly, try to find someone with a piece of crud up on blocks in their front yard, who can suddenly afford a new car. You can count all of them on one foot, even if you're missing a toe.

So, in sum, welcome to the rebirth of big government. It'll drive you nuts just thinking about it.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com

There are, perhaps WAYS to make this actually WORK... but this plan ain't one of them.

The purpose of this, I guess, is to get people driving $4500 or cheaper cars in on a new car.

Besides credit markets so tight it makes your butt squeak, as Greg pointed out:

Lastly, try to find someone with a piece of crud up on blocks in their front yard, who can suddenly afford a new car. You can count all of them on one foot, even if you're missing a toe.

So.... here we have it. This aspect of the bill will, no doubt, have a huge roll out. "Good" for the auto-makers, "good" for the environment, "good" for the consumers.

Except... it will make little to no difference.... because the target market will not be able to afford a new car.

But it looks good, doesn't it?
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